Main Quintessential: Elpheziea Pouffoufs, age 16 Elph appears to be an ordinary, perhaps slightly extroverted teenage girl.
She tries to be angsty, because it's expected of her. She loves gothic lolita fashion, writing angsty poetry, and heavy metal.
Her stepfather is Diphthong, and she's ever-so-slightly in love with Carrot.
Luciano Carrotti, age 19 Carrot is an undercover pizza boy and intern for the famed Section 42.
He was promoted to agent so that he could take a stab at solving the mystery of Diphthong.
He enjoys pizza, beer, quantum physics, and (unsuccsesfully) trying to pick up women.
Paolo, age 14 Paolo (who has no last name, like Cher..) is Carlos' gothic Mexican lover-boy.
Despite this, he is actually straight, and has a hopeless crush on Elph.
He receives unwanted attention from Bubbles, Philio, and all of Carlos' co-workers.
Elpheziea Pouffoufs, age 16
Luciano Carrotti, age 19
Paolo, age 14
